Alone In This Bed
by silenceisscreaming
Summary: Nick can't sleep. He just wants to hold his Greg again.


**In This Bed**

**Disclaimer: **As everyone on this site knows, I do not own CSI or Nick and Greg, unfortunately. If I did, I wouldn't be writing about them here, I'd be using a television screen.

**Acknowledgements: **This little fic was inspired by the song Alone in this Bed by Framing Hanley. Thanks goes out to Alison for proofreading.

**Warnings: **None.

**Summary: **Nick can't sleep. He just wants to hold his Greg again.

I sigh for about the millionth time tonight. I can't sleep. You aren't here with me. I've gotten so used to having you in my arms every night that I can't sleep unless you're here. Waking up without you is surreal. It doesn't feel right. There hasn't been a day in five years that I've woken up without you. My chest constricts. I just want to hear your voice, touch you. I want to hold you again.

I hold the cell phone in my hand now, debating whether I should call you. You're working though; you'll be busy. Besides, I don't have that right anymore. What was I thinking? How could I let you go like that? I pray that I'll get another chance. God has put us through hell; I think he owes us a little happiness. I set the phone down and lay my head back on the pillow. It still smells like you. Of course it does. It was only two nights ago that you were right there, in that very spot, whispering that you loved me. How could I have screwed that up?

That's it, I can't stand this; I have to call. I have to have you back in my arms, where you belong. I press speed dial and I hear it ringing. I almost hang up but I don't. I need to hear you.

"Sanders," you answer, always the professional. Tears spring to my eyes. I again want to hang up the call but I need you so I press on.

"Hey, Greg," I say, and I inwardly curse at the wavering in my voice.

"Nick," you reply hesitantly. You're probably wondering why I'm calling, since I'm the reason we broke up.

I don't know what to say now that I'm talking to you, so I say, "How are you?"

"Nick, I'm at a crime scene; I'm kind of busy."

"Right, I know. I'm sorry. I'm sorry about everything. I don't know what I was thinking. Please come home, baby."

"Nick, you can't just apologize and expect everything to be okay. You broke us up; you hurt me. You can't just take that back."

"Please, Greg. I'll do anything. I love you; please come home. Don't leave me alone. Don't leave me alone in this bed. I can't sleep. I need you here. You're always here, and now that you're not, nothing feels right. I need you, Greggo."

There's silence and it sounds almost like you're considering it.

"I can't sleep either, Nick, but I can't just forgive you no matter how much I want to."

That brings a half smile to my face. You may not forgive me but at least I know you still care about me. That's a start.

"Name it, Greg, and I'll do it. Anything at all."

"It's not that easy, Nick. Now I really have to go. Cath is sending me dirty looks. I'll … call you later and we'll talk then."

I sigh, "Okay, Greg, thanks."

"Oh and Nick? If Sara comes to your house, don't let her in. She's pretty angry with you."

"You told her didn't you?" I answer knowing that the answer is a yes. We had been very open with our coworkers and friends about our relationship. They all knew. Sara had told me right from the beginning that if I hurt you, I'd have her to answer to. I should've remembered that.

"Yeah, she's my best friend, I tell her everything."

"Okay, thanks for the warning." I am actually surprised that you'd warn me. I guess you don't really want Sara to give me a physical or verbal smack down. I appreciate that. It shows that you really do care.

I hang up the phone and raise my head to stare at the ceiling. I allow my mind to go blank and my eyes to close. The exhaustion of the last two days that I haven't slept catch up with me and I fall into sleep.

A ringing breaks into my sleep and I groan. There are so many memories. My dreams are full of them. Grissom is probably calling to get me to go to work. I turn over and immediately reach for you. I find the other side of the bed empty. A wave of grief floods through my chest, and I take a deep breath before picking up the phone. I check the caller ID and am surprised to see it's you calling. I had forgotten that you said you'd call, but I guess I hadn't really believed you would.

"Hey, Greg."

"Hey, Nick. Um, I'm outside your house. I just got off shift and thought we should talk. In person."

"Yeah, of course. Come on in. You still have your key." It is, after all, your house too. We moved in here three years ago. I've never considered it mine. It has always been ours. I hear the front door open and a bit of the grief lifts from my chest. This is where you belong. I get up and meet you in the living room. You're standing just inside the door looking like you've just come home from a long trip. God, I've missed you.

You stand there, staring at me, and all I can do is stare right back at you. That connection is still there. The love is still there. I can see it in your eyes. But you're so silent, it's eerie.

We stand in silence before you let out a deep breath and take a few steps toward me, hesitantly. And then you reach out to me, drawing me into your arms and I've missed you so much that I can't help but break down sobbing. You pull me closer and rub my back comfortingly. And we stay like that, me in your arms, like it's supposed to be.

When my cries finally subside, you lead me over to the couch and sit me down. You choose to sit on the coffee table in front of me. You look down at your hands nervously, and I can tell you want me to say something. So I do.

"Greg, I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking. I should never have – "

"Nicky, don't. You apologized, it's over. You're forgiven," you tell me with a small smile.

"Greg, I love you more than you could ever know. Nothing could ever change that. Not this, not anything. Remember that."

You nod and take in a shaky breath. I reach out my hand and touch your cheek gently, lifting your face so you will look at me. Your eyes search mine, and I hope that I can convey everything I'm feeling.

You smile then and stand up, pulling me with you. You pull me into the bedroom and we both collapse onto the covers. We know that all we both want is sleep. It's been a long day and everything else can get worked out in the morning. We shed our clothes and climb into bed. We're facing each other and you glide your fingers through my hair, and God, it feels incredible. I thought I'd never feel that again.

"I love you," I whisper.

"I love you too, Nicky," you say and you kiss me. Soft, gentle and loving.

When I wake up the next morning, I immediately reach for you. My heart skips a beat when I actually am able to feel you, to have confirmation that yesterday was not just a dream. I wrap my arms around you and kiss the back of your shoulder and then your neck. You slowly wake up and turn to me with a soft smile.

"Don't leave me alone in this bed," I beg you.

"Never, I promise."

AN: Reviews? Please?


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